


Cinderella (Destiel Parody)

by JoeyTheMusician



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel as Cinderella, Cinderella - Freeform, Drunk Castiel, Fluff, Gentleman Dean, M/M, Male Cinderella, Prince Dean, Prince Dean Winchester, Vulgar Humour, lots of swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-21 00:59:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2449451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoeyTheMusician/pseuds/JoeyTheMusician
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sassy Cas meets Prince Dean. He likes what he sees.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cinderella (Destiel Parody)

Cas's POV

 

"Holy, fuck, someone close the sun." A small annoying being squeaked from beside me, "Are you hungover? Get your ass out of bed and close the curtains yourself." Ah, Charlie. She was a tiny little mouse who never seemed to die. We had been friends for a few years now. We understood each other. 

My step mother called from somewhere downstairs, being as I made my room the attack- I didn't care for the low ceilings, but it was the warmest. She isn't even actually my step mother- she was my father's mistress before they both died from a heart attack. You know why? Because I came out as bisexual. I knew it was going to be bad but you don't expect your parents to die you know? Faint hearted assholes.

"Where's my goddamn coffee?" She loved me, didn't she? Of course not the fucking whore. Charlie made her noisy way to the door and tried to open it. "C'mon." 

"Wait a fucking second. I'm still in pajamas." Changing, I open the door for her. Her admirer who is forever in the friend zone, Michael, quickly tails after her after saluting me. Poor guy. "Cas!" 

"One fucking second!" It's not like I actually yelled that. More like stubbed my toe while whispering."What was that?"

"Nothing! Selfish bitch." Again, whispered. I drag my ass downstairs and make her coffee. Eventually Lizzy and Anna come down as well demanding attention. I hate mornings. "Yes I have your fucking coffee just wait!" The doorbell rings. "Really? Fuck it." I drop the coffee and little desserts on the table and run for the door. 

"Hello Good Sir can I help you this fine fucking morning?" A little kid is on the other side. Cute, scrawny and clearly in the same mood as me. "My mom made me give every single girl without a husband an invitation to my asshole older brother's party." The poor kid looked tired, welcome to the club. "Why is it so important?" 

The kid looks up at me through eyes with an unidentifiable color. Like seriously, are they brown or blue or what the hell. They change every time I look at him. "Cause he's the prince?" Oh, that explains things. 

"Well, I'll pass along the message-" But before I can turn to leave the kid stops me, "You'll come right? Please?" I look at him and his watering eyes, "No, I'm afraid I..." The longer I stared, I just, I couldn't. "But... FINE. We'll see. Now scram." 

Later that evening,

"What do you mean I can't go?" My step mother sneers at me, "You're far too ugly why would you even want to go?" Oh, this approach. "To ease them into you and your fat ass." 

"Thats it! You're staying home. C'mon girls, let's get away from this filth." "I will spit in your coffee." She flips me off. "Fuck you too." So I went upstairs with Charlie hoping to watch some Netflix before they get home, but I was interrupted. 

"Going somewhere?" A mint green haired short guy with pastel pink wings, stops in front of me. "Who are you?"

"Do I look like a fucking hippo to you? A fairy, genius." Aren't they allergic to honey or something? I think I have some in the pantry... "Fuck you, I'm adorable."

I look at him, "You can read my mind?" He nods and puts his hand on his hip for good measure, "Great." He frowns. "Well now that introductions are done-"

"What? I don't know your name?" He smacks me with his plastic wand. "Ow." I rub my shoulder where he hit. "Tyler. Now do you like lace or silk? Pink or Green?" What?

"Well you do know you're going to that party don't you? You promised Sammy!" I stare at the crazy dwarf in front of me. "And I have to dress up?" 

"Yes." I sigh exasperatedly. "They have cheesca-" "Both, and white." Poof, some sort of glass like glitter rained over me and next thing I know I'm wearing this short little lace g-string. "Umm, I don't think this is appropriate-" But it continues growing, until I have a tight vest and tights on. "I'm supposed to dance in this?" 

Tyler hits me with the wand again. "Ow." The sparkles come again and this time I'm in a black silk shirt, white pants, and white vest. "Now get your lazy ass to the ball."

"Don't I need a car or something?" He hits me again, "WOULD YOU STOP THAT?" "The party's two blocks down the street, don't be a cow." And off I went.

"He had to give me boots, really? What are these made out of? Glass?" God, no. I look down, and sure enough, see through, far too heavy to be plastic, four inch boots. "Ah, the fucker. How am I supposed to dance in these?" Every step had me dragging my feet. "Fuck."

"Those are definitely not the words you expect to leave someones mouth. Though I'm glad because all of these airheaded twits can't even say my name right." A young man, but seemingly older than me, approached me. "Who are you?" The guy smiled, pleased, "My name is Damu." 

"Well, that isn't hard to say." He laughs. "Yeah, I know." He was pretty, admittingly. Perfect cocoa skin and luminous green eyes. "So who dragged you here?"

"My parents." Ah. "Thought you could use a girlfriend or to socialize in general?" He shrugs and leads me outside, "A little bit of everything I guess."

Three hours later,

I drank way too much champagne. WAAAAAAY too much. "Do you think she would go for me?" I pointed to a pretty brunette with a purple dress. "No man, she is way straight, look at the way she's looking at Sammy." I frown, "Isn't that like peodophilia?" He nods, "Probably." 

As you probably guessed, we were drunk off our asses. "How about her?" A tall blonde with a black gown danced past us. She made eye contact with me, and winked. "I am either so drunk I'm hallucinating or she winked at me." Damu gets up from his sitting position, "No dude she winked at me!" And he ran to her. 

Son of a bitch. A different male approaches me, tall, rugged, green eyed, what is in the water man? These eyes people. "Who are you?" I slur. "You're drunk, really?" His face is really shady, all lines and shit. He picks me up, "DON't DO thaT!" I'm really dizzy, I notice. "Did the music get louder?" 

He just shakes his head, I think, at least. It might be my head shaking. "You're pretty." He looks down at me. "You have no idea who I am do you?" I just stare at him. "I would shake my head but I'm gonna die." He laughs and pulls me closer. "Dean."

"That sounds like Diana, can I call you Diana?" He frowns, "No." "Okay then Diana." He sighs. "You do that a lot." His eyebrow perks up, "Sigh?" 

"Yeah. Why don't you smile for me?" So he does, very fake. "You look like someone who just saw his sister naked." Dean bursts into laughter and genuinely smiles. It takes my breath away. His eyes crinkle and he looks at me, "Who are you?"

"Cas." "Well Cas, lets get you sober." He sits me down somewhere, in a different room. He hands me a water bottle, but instead of letting me drink it, he pours it over me. "Fuck! That's cold! Where the hell do you get those? The Arctic?" He laughs. 

"Yeah, they're imported." "That's stupid." He laughs again, "Yeah, I know." He leans in to me, "You're the most fun I've had all my life."

"I'm drunk, might have something to do with it." He smiles and lifts a warm hand to my cold cheek. He brings me closer, "So Cas, how are you?"

"Okay, cold, I guess. Wet. Horny. Hungry, I was promised cheesecake." He goes for a cupboard on the other side of the room, "Chocolate cheesecake is fine?"

"I stopped thinking at Chocolate." He cuts us both a slice. "I'm going to eat the whole thing but it's nice of you to cut it for me." He hands me the plate and a fork. "Can I kiss you?" I drop my cake. 

"What?" He stares at me, intently, "Can I kiss you?" "With a face like that you can do whatever you want."  
He leans in, like even, closer, so I stop breathing. But before his lips could touch mine I fart.

Silence.

Then he starts laughing so hard he chokes. He holds up his finger as to give him a moment. Then he looks at me seriously, sees me blushing, and starts laughing again. "Oh, God, Cas. Marry me." He's still laughing. 

"Alright it's funny, I get it, but I'm still wet." Dean grabs a tunic of his own and hands to me, opening the door to the bathroom for me. "Change." So I did. "You think it's alright to just steal somebody's clothes?"

He's silent. I don't even think I can hear him breathing. "I'm sure." After a beat, "So what do you think of the Prince?"

"I don't know, his brother calls him an asshole. I haven't even seen the guy." I peel off my wet clothes and put on the green tunic. When I open the door Dean is covering his face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just. You know what- do you want to dance?" I gladly take his hand and he leads back to the ball. "You know your way around."

"Yeah, I work here." "Oh, cool." A slow song comes on. "Seriously? Like this is not the most romantic thing possible." Dean pulls me close and I lay my head awkwardly on his shoulder. "I can't guarantee I'll enjoy this."

"Just shhh." I make eye contact with Damu, dancing with the blonde from earlier. He smiles at me and gives me the thumbs up. I do so back. Good job buddy. 

We end up dancing for several hours.

12:00 "Oooooh, It's midnight." A loud voice shrills from above. "It is time for the Prince to have his dance." "Dammit." My partner unwraps himself from me. "Hey what's wrong?" Dean looks at me pained.

Sammy, the kid from the door, comes trotting up. "Hey Dean- You!" He spots me. "I came, squirt." He smiles and gives me a hug, "Well Dean has to go now but maybe after-"

I look between the two of them. "Why does Dean have to go?" Sammy makes an expression of shock, with his eyebrows way up and his lips collecting together into a circle. He laughs nervously, "Uh, Dean, you lied or is he seriously this dense?"

Dean swallows and looks at me. He smiles awkwardly. "Um, I'm the Prince? Tada!" The spotlight hits us. "PRINCE DEAN WILL-" But I don't hear. "You're the Prince?"

Fuck, fuck, fuck. If anyone finds out I'm here- If anyone finds out I danced with the Prince- My stepmother would have my ass on a stick. "I- I have to go!"

"No Cas!" I run for my life, the other way. I had nothing against Dean but seriously. My life could not get more cliched than this. So I run, naturally. 

And my boot starts slipping off. "You glass piece of shit you! Just can't fucking stay on!" I end up ripping it off. Dean continues chasing me. I wonder if I can run the two blocks? I end up throwing the other shoe in a bush somewhere and gunning it. Dean stopped sometime on the second block. He had tenacity- I'll give him that. 

But no one out runs me! I nearly passed out once I hit my bed. Charlie was screaming in my ear. "How was it? How was it?" I was far too tired to care. Around three a.m. My stepmother and sisters came home and that was it. God forbid I have anything to do with that ball again.

Next Tuesday,

"Ding fucking dong one more time, see what happens." I wrench the door open to Sammy. I don't hesitate before I close the door on him. "Okay listen here fucker-" He throws his foot in the way. "My brother is going bat shit insane for you. I haven't told you anything but if you really have no heart and don't care about him, hide your pretty little ass because he's on his way to look for you." Then he left.

Fuck. I run upstairs just in time to hear the door ring again. And again, and again, and again, "Cas get the fucking door!" "No!" So my stepmother gets Lizzy to do it. "OH! IT'S THE PRINCE! GET YOUR BITCHY ASS DOWN HERE, IT'S THE PRINCE!" So they all trot down like the thirsty women they are. 

"I'm sorry, but I'm looking for a man?" "AMAN? WE DON'T KNOW AN AMAN. I BET I'M PRETTIER THAN HER." I facepalm. "Good lord." I roll my eyes, "Ah, yes, I'll just be leaving." Thank god, I was just about to melt from his voice. Fuck, I bet he's even more attractive than last night- seeing as I was tipsy. 

Just when I think I'm okay- Tyler comes out of nowhere and sings, "UPPP HEREEEEE!" I try to grab him but he hits me with his wand, "Ow!" "Is someone up there?"

"Oh, that just the mice." Why thank you Anna. Then Sammy buts in, "Maybe you should check." NO NO NO NO. SAMMY YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE! The door slowly opens. And lo and behold Dean walks in to me cuddling up to a mouse, with a short guy in a pink tutu, with wings and a cheap wand- not to mention green hair- quite a sight. 

After a moment of silence, Tyler hits me with his wand. "Ow! It's your fault!" Dean completely ignores him and makes his way to me and pulls me up- Charlie protesting. "It's you."

I thought Dean looked pretty because I was drunk... but even sober he's so FUCKING GORGEOUS. HOLY COW. Thank you, I mouth to Tyler. "Can I kiss you?" He asks me. "You can do whatever the fuck you want, let's just hope I don't fart again." He laughs. Then he looks all serious, as he holds my face gently, and kisses me. 

See this would be the part where I explains what it feels like, but seeing as I was not thinking, or breathing, actually I think I died for a moment, I would not be able to. "Do we get married now or something?"

"I think we should start dating, maybe save you from this hellhole- we can wait for marriage and all that." "Cheesecake?" "You can have all the cheesecake in the world." He nuzzles my nose. "Why is there a short man in a pink tutu with green hair in your room?" He whispers. 

Panicked I look to Tyler, he shrugs. "He's a stripper?"

"Ow!"

We ended up going to the palace where I learned Damu worked, he ended up getting to married to the blonde, Sammy is refusing to stop playing with his action figures, Tyler's hair is now purple, I eat cheesecake every day. Life is good. Now if you're wondering if Dean and I ever got married-

We did. Eventually. After about four engagements. 

You know, when Tyler stopped hiding our rings.

And we lived happily ever after- regardless of that time when DEAN WAS THE ONE WHO ATE THE LAST COOKIE BUT NOOO- Yeah, still not over it. 

And we lived happily ever after, The End.


End file.
